Hi, I’m Debra Fay. I am a 35 year old Massage Therapist, Private Elder Care Companion, and an End Of Life Doula. It is an honor to be considered to walk with you and your family as you navigate this sacred part of the human experience.

A death doula is a compassionate, highly trained non-medical professional who provides unwavering support at the end of life. Offering holistic care that embraces both the dying person and their loved ones, death doulas attend to the emotional, spiritual, and practical needs of the entire family. Whether offering respite and companionship or guiding families through deeply personal matters like vigil planning and legacy projects, a death doula bridges the gap in care, allowing family members to step back into their roles as loved ones, cherishing their time together.

• Emotional Support: Death doulas gently guide the dying person and their loved ones through the complex emotions that often arise as the end of life draws near. They offer a compassionate ear, provide comfort, and help individuals express their fears and wishes, ensuring that no one feels alone during this profound journey.

• Practical Assistance: Death doulas provide practical support during this challenging time, whether it’s helping plan for end-of-life care, providing respite care and companionship, creating a serene and peaceful environment, or assisting with meaningful legacy projects like writing letters or recording cherished memories.

• Education: Death doulas offer clear and compassionate information about the dying process, helping families understand what to expect and exploring the various care options available. They also assist with navigating the logistics of death, including funeral planning and legal paperwork, so that loved ones can focus on being present.

• Advocacy: A death doula advocates for the wishes of the dying person, ensuring that their needs and preferences are honored by healthcare providers and family members. They stand as a loving guardian of the individual’s desires during this sacred time.

• Closing the Hospice Gap: Due to heavy workloads, hospice nurses may only spend brief periods with families—typically 30 minutes per visit, once or twice a week. During these visits, the hospice nurse educates families on how to care for their dying loved one. However, in the midst of anticipatory grief and overwhelm, caregivers may struggle to absorb all the necessary information. A death doula steps in to assess the caregiver's comfort level and competence with medication management, their understanding of when to call the hospice nurse or social worker, and ensures that they know what resources and support are available through hospice after their loved one passes away. By doing so, the death doula helps families focus on their most important role—being there as family, offering love and presence in the final moments.

• Presence: Often, a death doula's most important role is simply to be there—a calming, reassuring presence that helps create a peaceful and supportive atmosphere as the final moments approach.

Death Doulas can be contacted at any time during the end of life process. The sooner the doula can enter into the process, the more time can be spent getting to know the individual and family, creating quality individualized care plans, prioritizing end of life needs, and creating sacred space and meaning for the individual and family.